Mirror-man?
Imitation, it is said, is the best form of flattery.
I remember long ago when I was a person who got ahead in life more by rote and trial-and-error and a lot of luck rather than understanding. All that changed when I joined IIT and encountered a couple of friends who, it seemed, always had the correct approach to all academic problems! They did that, I thought incredulously, by actually understanding the underlying concepts. I was thoroughly impressed by their approaches and decided that this was the right approach. And, as you must have guessed by now, I went about imitating their approach and by due course of time started understanding complicated concepts and evolved my own flavor of understanding. This took me a long way academically.
Then I met several socially inclined people who used to help out orphanages and other distressed people in need. From these people, I learnt the value of being socially aware and contributing back to the society. I became environmentally conscious and now I try my best to do the least harm to mother nature.
I was quite content that I learnt a lot of good things. Until, I realized that I was also imitating people in a subtle and, unfortunately, in an unhealthy way. I would be friendly to people who were friendly to me. I would be nice to people who were nice to me. The story did not end here. I was being mean to people who were mean to me. I was being impolite to people who were impolite to me. I was being impatient with people who were impatient with me. I realized that I had become the mirror-man!
Thankfully realization dawned on me and by imitating the negative traits, I was not doing anyone any good, particularly myself! After a difficult situation, I would feel bad about my behavior if I had contributed in the escalation of the situation. I unilaterally decided to go back to my usual cheerful, polite, and friendly self even when people are not in their best behavior. This entire transformation is a process in progress, which has been so far extremely gratifying with outstanding results. If people are impolite without any apparent reason, I know that the fault lies in them. I am happy that I do not reciprocate.
Now, I make a conscious effort to learn only positive traits from others.
I remember long ago when I was a person who got ahead in life more by rote and trial-and-error and a lot of luck rather than understanding. All that changed when I joined IIT and encountered a couple of friends who, it seemed, always had the correct approach to all academic problems! They did that, I thought incredulously, by actually understanding the underlying concepts. I was thoroughly impressed by their approaches and decided that this was the right approach. And, as you must have guessed by now, I went about imitating their approach and by due course of time started understanding complicated concepts and evolved my own flavor of understanding. This took me a long way academically.
Then I met several socially inclined people who used to help out orphanages and other distressed people in need. From these people, I learnt the value of being socially aware and contributing back to the society. I became environmentally conscious and now I try my best to do the least harm to mother nature.
I was quite content that I learnt a lot of good things. Until, I realized that I was also imitating people in a subtle and, unfortunately, in an unhealthy way. I would be friendly to people who were friendly to me. I would be nice to people who were nice to me. The story did not end here. I was being mean to people who were mean to me. I was being impolite to people who were impolite to me. I was being impatient with people who were impatient with me. I realized that I had become the mirror-man!
Thankfully realization dawned on me and by imitating the negative traits, I was not doing anyone any good, particularly myself! After a difficult situation, I would feel bad about my behavior if I had contributed in the escalation of the situation. I unilaterally decided to go back to my usual cheerful, polite, and friendly self even when people are not in their best behavior. This entire transformation is a process in progress, which has been so far extremely gratifying with outstanding results. If people are impolite without any apparent reason, I know that the fault lies in them. I am happy that I do not reciprocate.
Now, I make a conscious effort to learn only positive traits from others.
posted by Niranjan at 4/26/2006 12:14:00 AM
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